


Unspoken

by Infinity_Sansa



Series: Perfect strangers [1]
Category: Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Developing Relationship, Enemies to Lovers, First Time, Identity Porn, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:40:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26646901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinity_Sansa/pseuds/Infinity_Sansa
Summary: Clark Kent went to cover an event where Lex Luthor noticed him. He agreed to one date to satiate Luthor's curiosity, but it didn't really go as planned...
Relationships: Clark Kent/Lex Luthor
Series: Perfect strangers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1938733
Comments: 14
Kudos: 105





	Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm Sansa! This story is based on an old plot bunny that I had in mind for years. The universe is a mix between the Smallville TV series and the animated series from the 90's, but truthfully, it's more headcanon than a real continuity.  
> I only wrote the first part and it took me a surprisingly short amount of time considering this monster took more than 10000 words, a personal record for me. The second part is supposed to be from Lex's perspective.  
> Enjoy!

It all happened because of Lois.

  
For maybe the hundrieth time that night, Clark adjusted his tie and sighed. His shabby suit was nowhere near as elegant as the high fashion ones he was seeing around him, but it would have to do. He didn't have the time nor the money to buy another one.

  
Even so, the outfit was truly atrocious. It came in an unflattering navy blue and the size... Too large at the bottom and way too tight at the top. He looked like a teenager trying to impersonate a white collar worker at his first internship, but without the taste in clothes required to make a good first impression. The tie was the only salvageable item in this fashion disaster: it was a gift from Lana for his twentieth birthday and he kept it since.

  
"You okay, dude?" Jimmy asked while giving him a champagne glass. You look kind of stiff."

  
"And you aren't? Lois really owes me one this time. I hate those kind of receptions."

  
Jimmy chuckled. Contrary to Clark, he was dressed to play the part: he wore a light grey suit with a silver tie, something classy but not too flashy. Clark wondered where he found the money for that. Was it included within the job's benefits? It that was the case, that would explain all the expensive designer clothes Lois wore every day.

  
"Who likes them? I bet even the host is fed up with them, but hey, it's his business. You can't play the part of the powerful rich without these stuck-up events when everyone look like they're bored out of their mind."

  
"Oh joy, now I know why I'm not rich and powerful."

  
"Keep dreaming, Smallville. Oh look, it's time for the obligatory thank you speech from the host. Hold on to your champagne."

  
Clark looked at the main platform in the center of the ballroom. It was an imposing piece of wood that looked like it was carved during the Antebellum Period, with all the flair and the heaviness of a mistress during her later years. He wondered if he could shift the subjet of his paper on architecture and art rather than on business or God forbid, politics.

  
Lex Luthor was standing in the middle of the stage, looking as smug as usual. He was surrounded by an army of counselors and scientists, and if you except the bodyguards flanking his sides like angry sharks watching their prey, he looked every part like a successful young politician attending the first official speech of the year in his political party. The fact that he was... well, to put it plainly, bald, didn't even lessen his charms or the playful glint in his eyes when he spoke.

  
"Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to the 56th Star Ball of Metropolis! I'm your gracious host this year, and do I really have to remind you my name at this point?"

  
A few laughs were heard, mainly coming from the ladies. Clark looked around while Luthor continued his speech. The people surrounding him were hanging on Luthor's lips; there was maybe one quarter of journalists and the rest consisted of celebrities he could see in the gossip magazines his mother sometimes read on weekends. Some of his colleagues were not even concealing the disgust they felt in front of Luthor: the man was well-known for being a criminal and a bad guy in general, after all, but you had to concede he did it with style. His white suit was impeccably tailored and the smile he gave his audience was so blinding it made him wants to try on sunglasses. Clark took out his infamous notebook and began to write.

  
"Whooa, you already have something to pick on?"

  
"I'm just writing down some thing or the other. I'll organize my notes after the party."

  
"Want me to do my job?" Jimmy asked while brandishing his camera. "I already snapped some shoots of Luthor and his courtisans."

  
"Good. Go around and do your magic. Perry wouldn't be happy with only one interview or two. I'll try to talk to the host."

  
Jimmy shot a glance at Luthor. The CEO was surrounded by a swarm of followers, be it politicians, businessmen or simply celebrities and other public figures. One puny journalist wouldn't make a difference.

  
"Good luck with that," he smirked. "The guy is a famous hedonist. I'm not sure you would even catch his eye."

  
"And what does that mean, exactly?"

  
"Come on Clark, you're not so naive. You're neither rich nor powerful, and you're surely not his type. His gorillas won't even let you approach his immediate vicinity."

  
"I'm not here to curry favor with him. I have an article to write, it's not as if I wanted to come here."

  
"Yeah, too bad Lois broke her leg. She would've slayed in the red Channel dress she chose for the event."

  
"Sorry for not being a pretty socialite," Clark sighed. "Wasn't there anyone else to replace her? Someone more... suitable for this kind of environment?"

  
"Nope. Lois wanted you. Between us, I think she didn't want someone who can outshine her. You know how much she hates being pushed on the side."

  
"Lucky me then, for being so unfashionable she thought I was no competition."

  
"Just grit your teeth and go, man," Jimmy shrugged. "At least you can say you tried."

  
"It's so ridiculous. I don't even like champagne!"

  
"I knew it, you're more like a beer type of guy, huh?"

  
Clark didn't answer and gulped the entire glass in one swoop.

  
"It tastes awful," he grimaced. "Isn't this supposed to be an expensive brand?"

  
"It's all in the head, I'm sure. Well, time to meet your executioner, Mr Kent."

  
"Wish me luck. And if I don't come back in an hour, tell my mother I loved her."

  
"Aye, aye, sir!"

  
The first steps were relatively easy, even if Clark was sure he crushed at least one foot on the process. Fortunately, the poor victim was either too polite or too prideful to point it out to him.

  
How were you supposed to approach a man you had nothing in common with, in a room full of people trying to do the same? Clark wanted to pull out his hair. He felt extremely uncomfortable amongst those people dressed to the nine; not to mention he never really wanted to meet his archenemy out of the context of his "side job".

  
And that was the crux of the problem, wasn't it? If only Lois didn't break her leg during her last investigation. It wasn't even her fault: Superman wanted to save her from a fall and a sure demise, but he didn't weigh up his strenght and ended up crushing the part where he caught her, in this case her left leg. It was a very rookie mistake and the real reason he accepted her request to replace her at the party. Well, Clark Kent didn't have any reason to indulge her but let's just say it was a ploy to convince everyone he was such a good guy he wasn't able to say no to her. It certainly wasn't because he felt guilty.

  
One of Luthor's guards stopped him before he could go further.

  
"Who are you and what do you want with the boss?"

  
A real henchman, this one. He was similar to all the henchmen Clark regularly beat under his persona of Superman. One thing was for sure, Luthor really liked this whole gangster mob imagery. Clark wondered where the villains he regularly fought found those guys. Was there a stock somewhere he wasn't aware of? Maybe he should try to take care of it.

  
"I'm Clark Kent from the Daily Planet," he said, refusing to step back. "I'd want to have a word with Mr Luthor."

  
"If you want an interview, go call his secretary. The boss is busy. He doesn't have the time to talk to you paparazzi."

  
"I'm not a paparazzi," Clark replied, vaguely offended. "I write columns for a very serious and prestigious newspaper."

  
"Yeah, whatever. Go away."

  
"I..."

  
"Is there a problem, Khalid?" they heard a voice say.

  
Oh. Speak of the devil. Lex Luthor eyed Clark and his bodyguard, looking utterly unimpressed. Clark straightened himself and wondered if he should have slouched instead. Luthor wouldn't recognize him, would he? He put on an awkward smile.

  
"Hello Mr Luthor, nice to meet you, I'm Clark Kent from the Daily Planet. May I have some of your time? I would be very honored if you grant me an interview, sir."

  
Luthor lifted a perfectly trimmed eyebrow.

  
"The Daily Planet, really? Don't they usually send Ms Lois Lane?"

  
"Unfortunately, she had an accident."

  
"Oh, really? What a pity. I hope it's not serious?"

  
"Well, she broke her leg in her last work. She sent me to replace her. She was very insistent about me giving you a personal interview."

  
Luthor's eyes widened.

  
"Oh really?"

  
Time to mention the only wild card he got in this ordeal.

  
"Yes. For some reason, if I ever got an interview, she told me to tell you that, I quote, "I'm not for sale and never will be, but Smallville (that's me, by the way) may be a perfect alternative for someone like you."

  
"You are?" Luthor asked, seemingly amused.

  
"I'm very confident in my abilities," Clark exclaimed with a smile he hoped was charming. "Although I'm not for sale like Lois said. Whatever you decide to give to me, I won't make it public if it makes you uncomfortable. And I won't cover up any misdemeanor either. I'm all for ethics and consent."

  
Luthor grinned at him. Wait. He grinned? At _Clark Kent_? And it wasn't a smirk or a condescending smile, it was a full-fledge genuine and... happy smile? Luthor looking happy to see him? There was something disturbing about the mere concept.

  
"For once, she had a wonderful idea. Nice to meet you, Mr Kent. Would you like to have the interview now?"

  
"What?"

  
"I'm willing to cooperate tonight. You see, I'm a little unconvenienced right now so your presence is a fabulous opportunity. Mind if I take you to the back room? You're really my type."

  
His... type? Of what? Of journalist? Did Luthor really have a preference in journalism? Or the way someone covered his comments, maybe? If he ever read one of his papers, he should have known that Clark was the honest and dedicated type.

  
"Hum... thanks?"

  
Luthor whispered into Khalid's ear. The bodyguard seemed surprised, but he nodded and started to clear a path in the crowd. Luthor took Clark's arm and began to pull him towards a small door hidden in the back of the ballroom.

  
"Let's go, shall we?"

  
"Yes?"

  
On the way, Luthor's fingers started to roam over his arm. Clark blushed but didn't dare to remove himself from the man's grasp. It wouldn't look good if he suddenly threw the main sponsor of the ball across the room.

  
"Oh my, you have such wonderful muscles under this suit," Luthor said with a sultry voice. "I can feel them bulging under my fingers. Do you exercise, maybe?"

  
"I... was raised on a farm in Kansas. I spent my early years working in the fields and carrying lots of heavy things. I guess it shows."

  
"Really? That's so interesting. I always wanted to experience the farm life, it must be very refreshing compared to our hectic city life, don't you think so?"

  
"I... guess? I don't really miss it, though. The people in Smallville, my hometown, tend to be a little close-minded. The only person I miss is my mother."

  
"I see," Luthor chuckled. "I can relate."

  
"You can?"

  
Somehow, Clark really doubted that. Even with the most vivid imagination, he couldn't really depict Luthor like a disaster teenager. Luthor wasn't the freak with superpowers who was so awkward and fretful during his teens that he didn't even dare to date anyone. Wasn't he photographied last week with a famous model at each arm?

  
Clark hated his teen years. The people at Smallville were very critical of anyone who didn't abide by the norms: being popular, having a pretty girlfriend, playing sports was all that mattered then. Clark with his fear of revealing his powers and his strange obsession with the truth was an oddball in such a small town, the weird guy who was better at writing strange articles in the high school newspaper than at throwing a football.

  
They arrived at the room in the back. Khalid opened it with an electronic key, glanced inside and motioned them to enter.

  
"Have fun," he smirked, closing the door.

  
It was a well-furbished room, almost a suite with the comfortable sofa and armchairs in the front, a desk on the left side and even a little kitchenette stuck on the right side. And on the back...

  
"Wow, they even put a bed over there! Does someone live here?"

  
"Not really, it's a special room we only use for special occasions."

  
"Really? That's very nice of you for bringing me here. I admit I wasn't sure if you were serious about the interview, but seeing that, I feel relieved. Do we begin?"

  
He sat on the sofa and opened the recorder app on his phone. Luthor looked oddly at him.

  
"You want to record everything?"

  
"Of course! I will also take notes, but sometimes I forget the context behind some assertions and it's better to have a back-up recording, so I can be the most accurate possible. Can I take photos?"

  
"You want to record and take photos of this? Seriously?"

  
"Yes, I already told you that."

  
There was something odd about the way Luthor was glancing at him, like he was hesitating.

  
"Was it a bad idea after all?" Clark asked, disappointed.

  
"I will be honest, I'm a little weirded out."

  
"I don't see why."

  
"I infer you have some experience with this kind of thing, then?"

  
"Of course, who do you take me for? I'm a seasoned professional."

  
"You ARE?!! Oh my God, what the hell, Lois?"

  
Clark was starting to get impatient. Why was Luthor so difficult about a mere interview? He would just ask some platitudes, they would add some jokes here and there, with an inside view of his character and some anecdotes about his business, that was all. Nothing to freak out about.

  
"If you changed your mind, we can stop here and I'll go. I told you, I won't work without your consent."

  
Luthor was speechless. He then blushed, tried to say something, only to stop and to stutter again without saying anything relevant. Clark waited patiently.

  
"Is there a problem?"

  
"I... It's the first time I meet someone like you. The people I'm usually with tend to be very forward, so consent isn't really their main concern."

  
"What? That's awful!"

  
"I know, right? Well, I admit I'm someone who knows what he wants."

  
"That can be both a quality and a flaw."

  
"I like to think it's my greatest asset, with my intelligence."

  
If Clark thought about it, it made sense. The villain Lex Luthor was an arrogant man who never backed down when he had an objective, whatever the drawbacks. He wasn't afraid of anything nor anyone, even the most powerful man on Earth. Clark knew this first-hand.

  
The Lex Luthor in front of him was no different than when he met him as Superman, that's why Clark didn't dare lower his guard. An interview to help Lois was good and all, but he couldn't take the risk of being discovered. If the man wasn't willing, well... he could always tell his friend that Luthor didn't even look at him.

  
"If that's such an inconvenience to you, then I'll go."

  
"Not at all! But... what a pity..."

  
Luthor came to sit beside him, his eyes boring into Clark. He smiled, gently, and leaned over him. Clark backed away, to no avail: Luthor was following him and soon, he trapped him on the side of the sofa. Luthor's smile became downright predatory.

  
"I love the way you lie," he whispered in his ear.

  
Clark shuddered. Did Luthor saw through his disguise? That would be the worst case scenario. His civilian persona had friends and colleagues, as well as a family. All these people could get hurt.

  
"I don't know what you mean," he whispered back.

  
"You're really my type," Luthor chuckled. "So big and handsome. So confident under your scruffy outfit. I could gobble you up."

  
That was some... interesting imagery. Clark put his hand on Luthor's chest. He didn't want to push him up yet, but the man had to know he wasn't going to be bullied like that. He only hoped his nemesis didn't have any kryptonite in stock.

  
Who was he kidding? He was Lex Luthor. Of course he had brought kryptonite to hurt him. It was a constancy in their relationship: Luthor would be doing evil as usual, Superman would come to stop him, his enemy would have prepared some extraordinary scheme to bring him to his knees, kryptonite included, and inevitably, he would fail like the texbook villain he was. Superman would win, and peace would return to Metropolis. The End.

  
This cycle lasted for years, and it wasn't stopping any soon. Luthor always had new interesting ideas. If not for his fortune and the connections he acquired from his businesses, he should have been languishing in prison right now.

  
"Mr Luthor?" Clark stammered. "May I ask you what you're doing?"

  
"Of course you can," Luthor told him before kissing him on the lips.

  
Clark froze.

  
Oh. So that was what he meant by "gobble up". Luthor then parted his lips with his tongue and properly invaded his mouth. What he was doing was downright indecent and Clark couldn't move.

  
"Delicious," Luthor said and he licked his lips. "I knew Lois had excellent tastes."

  
"What? Lois? But..."

  
Clark was interrupted by loud cries coming from the other side of the entrance. Someone was banging at the door and yelling his name.

  
"Smallville! You okay there?! Clark!!"

  
"Jimmy?"

  
"Put me down, you brute! I'm not a murderer! I'm just worried for my friend!"

  
Luthor looked positively pissed. He went to the door, opened it and glared at whoever was causing the racket. Khalid and another bodyguard were manhandling the poor Jimmy. His stylish suit was torn up and he was beginning to run a bloody nose.

  
"Mr Olsen, I suppose you have a good reason to spoil my fun?"

  
"Of course I do! Since when do you bring honest and hard-working journalists in the Special Room?"

  
"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't see any journalist inside the room."

  
"I'm talking about Clark Kent! Lois will skin you alive if you touch him! He's like a sibling to her!"

  
"What?" Luthor asked, stunned.

  
"What?" Clark parroted.

  
"Clark! Don't follow any bad guy in a suspicious room! What did your mother teach you?"

  
"Huh..."

  
"I'm not a bad guy!" Luthor complained.

  
"Yes you are," Clark deadpanned.

  
"So what? We were having a good time, and like you said, you and I were consenting to it."

  
"I didn't... Look, I think it's a misunderstanding. I just wanted an interview. A real, only with words interview, with a printing goal in a newspaper at the end. If you don't believe me, I have this."

  
Clark showed him his official journalist badge.

  
"And if it's still not enough, I'm sure we can find an old copy of the Daily Planet. I worked in there for years, there must be at least one article I wrote inside. Not to mention you have Jimmy's testimony."

  
Luthor blinked at him. Looked at his badge. Glanced at Jimmy who just nodded in a indignant manner. Khalid almost wriggled in embarrassment, although he was too professional to show it in front of others. Clark grimaced.

  
Then Luthor facepalmed and laughed, or rather he guffawed, as weird as it sounded. Jimmy and Khalid looked at each other, uncertain about what to do. Clark wondered if he broke the billionaire. Wouldn't that be funny, with all his strenght and powers the only thing that finally affected him after all these years was a stupid misunderstanding about Luthor wanting to bed him.

  
Wait. Luthor wanted to bed _Clark_? Okay, now he was the one whose mind broke.

  
"Khalid, out with Olsen. Kent, we have to talk."

  
"Yes, Boss."

  
"What?" Jimmy shouted. "No way! I'm not leaving Clark with you!"

  
"Don't worry, I won't disgrace him," Luthor spat at him. "Someone told me consent is an essential part in a relationship."

  
Once the door was closed, with a lot of shouting from Jimmy and a very confused stare from Khalid, Luthor turned to Clark and frowned.

  
"So you're not a male prostitute?"

  
"What? No! I'm a journalist, I swear! Lois and Jimmy are my colleagues!"

  
"I knew it was weird that Lois sent you for that," Luthor sighed. "I apologize. I must have projected my fantasy in the situation and you ended up in an uncomfortable position."

  
Clark was confused. Who was that man and what did he do with the real Lex Luthor? Did another alien/sentient plant/demon/evil soul impersonated him again? The Luthor he knew never apologized and he certainly never looked at him with such a warm gaze.

  
"I want to make it up to you, if you allow me. I'm not in the mood for an official interview, but we can make it in a few days? Maybe while having dinner at _L'estaminet_? Or do you prefer italian rather than french cuisine?"  
Clark gawked.

  
"Are you inviting me on an interview or on a date?"

  
"Hopefully both?"

  
"What?!"

  
"I will be honest," Luthor said while sitting in front of him. "I was both happy and disappointed to learn you were a professional sex worker. Happy because you're gorgeous and I wouldn't have minded to use the bed or any surface in this room with you. But I was also disappointed, because people like you are against pursuing a genuine relationship with a customer."

  
"You're not my customer," was the only thing Clark was able to say.

  
"I know it now, and let me tell you, I'm very satisfied with this outcome."

  
"Who are you?" Clark blurted.

  
He didn't feel any menacing aura or dangerous intent coming from the person in front of him. Maybe he was a pacific body snatcher? Is that even possible?

  
"I'm a little hurt. You follow me into a room alone and you don't even know my name?"

  
"I know how your appearance is called. But you can't be Lex Luthor. The Lex Luthor I know is... different."

  
The comment seemed to greatly amuse his interlocutor. He crossed his legs and smirked at Clark.

  
"And what exactly do you know about me? Gossips from tabloids or gross rumors from my business rivals? Maybe you read some misdirected police report?"

  
Luthor started to undo his tie, very slowly, while looking straight into Clark's eyes.

  
"I regularly see Superman," Clark all but spouted, mesmerized. "I know about you because of him."

  
"Isn't that great," Luthor hissed. "My mortal enemy already sabotaged my prospective love life. Excuse me if I'm not thrilled."

  
It was dangerous. It was madness. Clark couldn't look away from Luthor ( _Oh by Rao, he wasn't undressing, was he?_ ). He gulped.

  
"You really want to date me? But... I'm not a model! Or a woman for instance!"

  
"For the first issue, I'd say "So what? Neither am I." As for the second, it doesn't matter. I dated plenty of men."

  
"Really? You?"

  
Luthor's smile was sin itself. Or something very close, for that matter. Clark felt his cheeks redden.

  
"It would be one more evil flaw to add to my villainous curriculum, don't you think so?"

  
"Being gay or bi isn't an evil flaw!"

  
"Glad you agree," Luthor chuckled. "So, the date? I'm free next saturday."

  
"You know I don't really have to do this, right? It's not my article. I'm simply helping a friend."

  
"Right. No professional string attached, then. So at what time do you want me to pick you up? Or maybe you prefer to meet in a neutral place for our first date?"

  
"If I say no?"

  
"I'll ask you again. And again, but with flowers this time."

  
That looked like something the real Lex Luthor would do. He wouldn't take no for an answer.

  
"Please don't send them at work," he sighed.

  
"Who do you take me for, a uncultured barbarian? I don't humiliate my potential partners. Except when it's for work, of course."

  
"Lucky me then, if you want to see me outside work."

  
"So it's a yes?"

  
Clark sighed again, more loudly this time. He was going crazy. There must have been some sort of mind-numbing pollen/gem/light/ultrasound in the air to make him even think about the possibility of dating Lex Luthor. It would be a disaster in waiting, the epitome of a bad idea, the one last frontier he didn't need to cross.

  
"Okay," he sighed. "Just this once. If I don't like it, no more flirting or even mentioning anything about a relationship between us."

  
"I swear it on my father's grave. I won't bother you again if you don't want to pursue a relationship."

  
"I thought you hated your father."

  
"That's why I'm rather fond of his grave. Let the man stay in there."

  
Clark sighed. He really needed a beer right now.

  
*****

  
Saturday came fast. They agreed to meet at 11am in front of a little cafe Clark liked, in a suburb area of Metropolis. The weather was cloudy and windy, not a good start for a date, but it didn't seem to disturb Luthor. Clark saw him immediately when he came out of the bus. The man was sitting alone at a table outside; he was flipping through today's Daily Planet, looking every bit like a tourist chilling outside for fun. He was dressed with black pants, a casual white shirt and a blue cardigan well-matched with the beret he wore on his head. The only proof of his status was the pair of slicked leather shoes he wore, something that looked more expensive than Clark's entire outfit.

  
"Hi," he blurted. "Did you wait long?"

  
"Not at all!" Luthor exclaimed. "I was having a good moment here. Have a seat."

  
He was lying. Clark looked at the empty cup of coffee on the table as well as a pile of napkins covered in scribbles.

  
"You were working?"

  
"It's only a little formula I came up with while I was... reading. Nothing important."

  
Clark rapidly scanned the content of the napkins and stored it in a part of his mind. He then sat in front of Luthor and ordered a milk tea with plenty of sugar. He could do it. It was only a date, something everyone did at least once in their life.

  
Except everyone didn't go out with an egocentric billionaire who was also their archenemy since they began their superhero career ten years ago. It was so bizarre he wondered if he entered one of Dr Fate's dreamscapes.

  
"What were you reading?"

  
"The paper you wrote about the mass corruption in Oliver Queen's board of directors. That's some impressive background work you did. It must have taken you months to accumulate evidence."

  
"I know Green Arrow. He helped me a great deal with the investigation and he even went with me to show the results to the police."

  
Luthor looked at him for a long time.

  
"You're a man of principles, as I see."

  
"You can say that."

  
"And you're acquainted with superheroes. First Superman, now Green Arrow... a man full of surprises."

  
Clark grinned nervously.

  
"Are you disappointed?"

  
"If by disappointed you mean "aroused", yes, very much so."

  
"What?"

  
Luthor licked his lips.

  
"Surprised? I did say you were my type."

  
"I don't know what to say, Mr Luthor."

  
"Lex."

  
"Huh?"

  
"Mr Luthor is my father. We're on a date, call me Lex."

  
"So you can call me Clark?" Clark sighed.

  
"I already call you Clark in my head. What do you want me to do, go by "Mr Kent" during a date where I'm supposed to seduce you?"

  
"I don't know. I'm so confused right now. By the "seduce" part I mean."

  
Luthor smiled and put his hand on top of Clark's right one. Clark couldn't tear his eyes off his face.

  
"Hum... Mr Lut... Lex? What are you doing?"

  
"Flirting by inappropriately touching you on our first date."

  
"What makes you think it won't be the last?" Clark gulped.

  
"You're still here. And you didn't remove your hand."

  
"I... didn't, did I?"

  
It was utter madness. Clark moved his hand a little, not enough to disloge it. Lex stroke it, smiled and asked for another coffee. Clark just... blushed. And he still didn't remove his hand.

  
"What do you want to do?" Lex asked.

  
"There's this lovely park two blocks away, and a bakery on the way. We can buy some bread and see if the birds are hungry? I'm sorry it's not exciting. I seriously don't have any idea about how to entertain a billionaire who is also sometimes a villain."

  
"Ouch. You don't hold your punches."

  
"I wrote about your misdeeds, Lex. I know Superman and Green Arrow and other superheroes who met you in less than flattering circumstances."

  
"Good. So you already know what to expect and won't be disappointed. Shall we?"

  
A real gentleman, this Lex Luthor. He took Clark's hand and lead the way, even if it was obvious he didn't really know where to go. Or maybe he did, because five minutes later they were waiting in line in the bakery, stuck between a mother with a stroller and an old lady in a pink dress.

  
"You boys are so lovely together," the old lady crooned. "It reminds me of my youth."

  
"Do you want to go ahead, Ma'am?" Clark asked. "We're not in a hurry."

  
"That's very nice of you, thank you my dear."

  
"You're welcome. Do you need help to carry your groceries?"

  
"Oh no, I don't want to impose. I'm just buying a baguette for me and my cat."

  
Clark paid for the bread and they went their way.

  
"Do you always play boyscout?" Lex asked, amused. "The lady looked like she was ready to adopt you on the spot."

  
"The world would be a much better place if everyone was pleasant and polite," Clark simply said. "My parents taught me how being good is actually a reward in itself."

  
"My father only taught me how to crush my enemies," Lex mused. "And that lovers must be handled the same way as business partners."

  
"Do you sleep with your business partners?"

  
"Sometimes, yes. If they're hot enough."

  
"Is it a warning?"

  
"Depends. Do you want a steady relationship or a loose one? I only sleep around when I'm not steady."

  
Clark gawked at him.

  
"You do realize we only spent an hour together, right?"

  
"You do realize you're insanely attractive and charming, right?"

  
It took Clark by surprise. He laughed.

  
"Can you tell it to Lois? I tried to ask her out several times but she never seemed interested. I gave up after the fourth time."

  
"It's because your rival is Superman," Lex shrugged. "She's obsessed with him. You probably didn't have a chance in the first place."

  
"So now I'm reduced to go out with Superman's nemesis. I guess it's some form of improvement?"

  
"I won't take Superman's leftovers," Lex growled. "I already went in a date with Lois, it was dreadful. She spent the entire night talking about the big guy in blue. It was so infuriating, I dropped her on her apartment at 10pm and never tried to date her again. But I wasn't against a fling sometimes."

  
"Oh. That's why she said she wasn't on sale."

  
"As long as she doesn't talk about Superman, it's fine."

  
"That would never happen."

  
"I know, and good riddance too. I prefer tall brunettes with glasses anyway."

  
Lex winked at him. Clark refused to meet his gaze.

  
"Good for you I never thought about going out with Superman, then."

  
"Really?"

  
"Yeah. Not my type. He's too much."

  
"And I'm not?"

  
"You're... different. And I still haven't decided if I want to continue this."

  
"We can discuss about this in the next date, if you want. Oh, look, a pond!"

  
They arrived at the park, in front of a small pond that was overrun by ducks and other water birds. Lex took a large piece of bread and started to scatter it in little chunks around him. Soon they were surrounded by the birds.

  
"You're not afraid of being bitten?"

  
Lex shook his head.

  
"Clark, I fought aliens, monsters, demons and crazy clowns with hammers, some lowly birds won't frighten me. Come to daddy, little feathery minions, I will make you crawl for your bread! That's it, grovel in front of me!"

  
He began to cackle. Clark knew this laugh: Lex did it every time they met as rivals, it was a stupid habit that never failed to grate on his nerves.

  
"Stop it. You're scaring the families."

  
Lex immediatly shut up.

  
"Sorry. I don't know what happened. I don't make this unless I fight Superman, usually."

  
"Please don't do that ever again in front of me. I find it irritating."

  
"Dully noted. I finished the bread. Do you want to have lunch together?"

  
"Do you have somewhere in mind?"

  
"Maybe."

  
They ended up in a chinese restaurant in front of the park. It was a small place that smelt like ginger and braised pork, not a bad smell but it lingered on their clothes even after they left. Clark ordered the most spicy dishes they had while Lex opted for a very safe orange chicken with rice and some stir-fry vegetables. The owners, a couple of old chinese people with thick accents, served them quickly and went to clean the other tables.

  
"I didn't know you ate exotic food," Clark said while devouring his spicy beef.

  
"This type of americanized food can hardly be considered exotic. Did you taste the orange chicken? It's so sweet I want to call my dentist right now."

  
"So why did you order this?"

  
"I was curious. Lois wrote a tweet comparing my evil schemes to a plate of orange chicken in a chinese stall. What did she say again? Distasteful, artificial and it made her teeth rot. I'm deeply offended."

  
Clark laughed out loud. It looked like something Lois would say, especially if the tweet followed one of Lex's numerous attempts to kill Superman. Truthfully, he wasn't even afraid of Lex's "evil schemes" anymore. For the past two years, they were half-hearted at best and a bad habit at worst, like a snack you're munching without being hungry. He wondered if Lex did it on purpose or if he just lost interest.

  
"Do you want some of my mapo tofu?" he offered. "It's rather good. They only bungle the american-chinese fusion food. The authentic dishes are passable."

  
"Oh, we're already sharing the same food?"

  
Clark fought the urge to shut his mouth with a spring roll.

  
"Don't get too excited, sharing different plates is a chinese tradition. And give me the chicken if you don't want it. I hate wasting food. Some people can't even afford a horrible orange chicken in a dubious chinese restaurant somewhere in Metropolis' downtown area."

  
"That's a very specific complaint."

  
Clark tasted a piece of chicken and pulled a face.

  
"It's not so bad if you treat it like a dessert. A meat dessert maybe?"

  
"Yuck."

  
"You're culturally biased."

  
"You're insanelly beautiful."

  
"Wait, what?"

  
"I love the way you eat your mapo tofu," Lex added with a rather loud voice. "Did I ever tell you how handsome you are?"

  
Clark frowned and looked around. He was afraid the owners would freak out after what Lex said, but they just looked oddly at them and schrugged. They were the only customers in the restaurant.

  
"You're weird," Clark muttered.

  
"That's the most flattering thing a guy ever said to me."

  
"Even from your male dates?"

  
"Male dates?"

  
"The men you dated, if you want. They never gave you a compliment?"

  
Lex seemed to think about it.

  
"They flattered me, but you know how it works when they're after your money."

  
"How do you know I'm not after your money?"

  
"I was the one who asked you out."

  
"Oh, right."

  
They talked about anything that came to mind. Clark told Lex about his family and the years he spent at the farm in Kansas. Lex recalled some of his battles against Superman, and wasn't it crazy that Clark found interesting to learn about the mechanics behind his schemes? After an hour, they finished the meal and started to talk about the other superheroes in the Justice League.

  
"And that's why I'm convinced Batman and Superman are an item," Lex asserted.

  
"Isn't it a little far-fetched?"

  
"Come on, don't tell me you never saw it. The way they're looking at each other, their strange rivalry when they're supposed to be allies, the sexual tension..."

  
"You know, some people say the same thing about you and Superman," Clark interrupted him.

  
"I know. It's fascinating and also highly disturbing."

  
"You know about it?"

  
"My assistant ships it."

  
"What?"

  
"She's the president of an online movement whose sole purpose is to find proof about our everlasting love. They're also very invested in our ship, to the point of stalking me and creating some fan compositions. You should see it, some of them are very talented."

  
"I don't know how to feel about it."

  
"You should be proud. Your date is very popular. Do you want dessert?"

  
"Nah, I'm full. Besides, their desserts aren't very good. You want to go?"

  
Despite Clark's protests, Lex paid for the lunch. Like in a real date. That alone was crazy enough, but then Lex took his hand (again!) and they walked together until they reached the bus stop.

  
"Do you want to go somewhere else?" Lex asked.

  
"What do you think?"

  
"You choose this time."

  
Clark looked at the bus schedule.

  
"I have an idea. But let me pay the bus fare."

  
"How generous of you," Lex smirked.

  
"Shut up. Some of us only have a lowly journalist pay. How do you feel about going to a Renaissance fair?"

  
"For real?"

  
"Yes. I saw a flyer yesterday and I thought, why not? I always wanted to try one but a grown man going alone is a little..."

  
"You're sure it's better when it's two grown men including one billionaire? You know I can make a phone call and the entire fair comes to my courtyard."

  
"Flaunting your wealth isn't going to win you any good point," Clark sneered. "Be a good proletarian and go to the fair by bus like every person who doesn't have a limo."

  
Lex rolled his eyes.

  
"I just hope they don't have any buffoon. I hate buffoons. And clowns."

  
"I kind of noticed."

  
"So, Renaissance fair?"

  
"Why not? If you don't like it, I can at least say it's your fault."

  
*****

  
It was a disaster. Not because of the fair, no, it was a very decent medieval-themed one with some very enthusiastic volunteers and some of the most colorful costumes Clark ever saw in a modern vision of the Middle Ages. The problem was with the villains who came to disturb the event. They were very specific ones at that. Of course they were. Clark's life was weird enough on an usual day, so the one day he decided to change his routine to go out with his archenemy, he was taken hostage by a group of weirdos dressed as a medieval court? There was one King, one sexy Queen, one Knight and one Buffoon dressed like a knock-off Joker.

  
"Mwahahahaha!!" the King-like leader guffawed. "I dareth thou to cometh and receiveth me, brave h'roes!"

  
He then shook his laser scepter with gusto, while his left arm tightened his clutch on Clark's neck, nearly strangling him in the process. At least, that's what Clark had to feign in front of his date. Lex, the more fortunate one who didn't have a crazy villain hanging on his neck, waited for the King to finish his speech before saying anything. Clark wondered if it was a form of villain solidarity: let the bad guy monologue first and counter-attack after that.

  
"Excuse me," Lex snickered, "I don't talk medieval moronish. If you have something to say, please use your brain and not some modern gibberish disguised as an ancient language. You do realize even the people at this second-rate fair don't talk like that?"

  
"Lex, that's not very nice of you," Clark sighed. "The people who organized the fair worked very hard, I'm sure."

  
"SILENCE!!" the King blared. "How dareth thee ign're me, thee peasant!"

  
"Hear, hear!!" the buffoon exclaimed. "Hark to our king!"

  
"I hate you already," Lex told him.

  
"Huh?"

  
"Where is Superman when I need him to punch a stupid clown?"

  
"Maybe he's on a date?" Clark suggested.

  
"No way. He didn't notice Lois Lane's unsubtle flirting even once in ten years. He must be an asexual alien. Or it works differently for him, I don't care, but he clearly doesn't have a sexual drive."

  
"I thought he was secretly going out with Batman or you?"

  
"In theory, maybe, but don't insult me, please. You're clearly more my type."

  
"What?" the villain protested. "Gentlemen, could we..."

  
Both Clark and Lex glared at him, making him flinch even if he didn't loosen his hold.

  
"Are we really discussing Superman's love life while I'm being taken hostage by a bunch of medieval-crazed villains?" Clark grunted. "Besides, maybe he just doesn't want a groupie for a girlfriend. Maybe he's waiting for the right person to chose him and not the cape."

  
"Who would want to date a cape?"

  
"Don't play stupid, it's the image! I'm sure he wants someone to love him for who he is and not for his superpowers!"

  
"Would you mind being a little bit afraid of me, gentlemen?" the King whined again. "I also worked very hard on my evil deeds!"

  
"Oh, sorry Mr Villainous King," Clark spat. "Please continue your... huh... villainous speech?"

  
"You know what, fuck it," the King growled. "Hey you, you look rich. Give me one million dollars or I kill your boyfriend."

  
Lex gave him a triumphant smile.

  
"See? It wasn't so hard. And no."

  
"No what? You don't have the money?"

  
"I certainly do. But I don't think Clark is worth a million."

  
"Yeah, really?"

  
"He's worth a billion! An infinite amount of money!"

  
"Please don't rob the World Bank to pay my ransom," Clark pursed his lips. "That would make me very upset."

  
"Don't worry, handsome. I have a much better idea."

  
At this moment, Clark's super hearing picked up a hissing sound coming from the city. It was becoming louder by the second until even the people in the fair could hear it. The group of villains gathered in a circle, looking everywhere.

  
"What the..."

  
"Took you long enough," Lex shouted at the sky.

  
Two people came down from a rocket, one man and one woman. They were dressed oddly, even by Superman's standards.

  
"Lex, why do these people look like sexy retro cosmonauts?"

  
"Don't ask me, ask my nerdy scientists. They designed the things."

  
"It looks like a Barbarella rip-off. Even the guy has midriffs!"

  
The couple struck a pose; they looked very proud of themselves.

  
"Equality, baby!" the sexy cosmonaut exclaimed. "I have the right to be as sexy as my sister!"

  
"We believe in an equal practice in sexual exploitation," the woman aquiesced. "If I get to have a miniskirt and a bra, he gets to wear minuscule shorts and a one nipple armor."

  
"That oddly makes sense," Lex mused.

  
Clark sighed.

  
"Good to know your evilness doesn't go into sexism as well."

  
"What can I say? It's highly inefficient. When you treat everyone equally, you have twice the number of people you can use. Introduce yourselves, guys."

  
The woman danced around like a ballerina, the man flexed, and together they tangoed until they reached a fountain; then they jumped inside, splashing everyone around them, and emerged from the water while striking yet another pose.

  
"I'm Selena," the woman sang.

  
"I'm Endymion," the man crooned.

  
"Together we're the Moon Rangers!"

  
Clark blinked. The names, the silver and blue costumes, the little crescents adorning their clothes, it was all so lame he didn't dare to say anything in fear of laughing. Lex rolled his eyes.

  
"I know what you're thinking, but really, are they worse than a guy in red underpants over blue tights?"

  
Clark wisely shut his mouth. In the meanwhile, the bad guys attacked the Moon Rangers with their medieval weapons: a sword for the Knight, a staff for the Buffoon and a whip for the Queen.

  
"Oh, lasers?" Endymion hissed. "You guys are not respecting the theme! There wasn't any laser in the Middle Ages!"

  
"Shut up!" the Knight shouted. "I'll kill you!"

  
"Three against two, and a fourth one with a hostage?" Clark complained to the King. "It's not fair!"

  
"Do you mean three against three?" Lex exclaimed.

  
He jumped in the battle, a gun in hand. Clark didn't know where he hid it, but was it really wise for him to do that? In all the years Superman confronted him, not once did he fight directly on the field with his henchmen. Did he even know how to throw a punch?

  
Clark decided to wait and see. At worst, he would have to intervene in one way or the other. It was tricky with Lex in the picture but he did it several times already with Lois and Jimmy, and they knew him for longer. He could always stumble by accident and break the King's arm or something.

  
It turned out that he didn't need the subterfuge. The Moon Rangers were good fighters; after subduing the Knight and the Queen, they helped Lex with the Buffoon and soon, the three villains laid on the ground, defeated. The King tried to use Clark but then, inexplicably, his hostage tripped on a root and felt, pulling his abductor with him. Endymion and Selena took no time to knock him out.

  
So now the group of medieval bad guys was stopped by the... good guys? People working for a bad guy but who were on the good side? Random space-themed henchmen? Clark was soon released from the King's hold and Lex came to join him.

  
"Are you all right, Clark?"

  
"Yes, but my confusion sees no end," Clark muttered to no one in particular. "Did you and your henchmen just saved me?"

  
"It does look that way," Lex laughed. "To complete the picture, do you want me to sweep you off your feet?"

  
"You can do that?"

  
"I can try."

  
He wasn't able to do it. Lex Luthor was first a scientist and second a businessman, after all; there was a good reason why he never fought before. He did try though; he put his arms under Clark's knees and pulled. They were soon on the ground, tangled around each other. Clark tried not to laugh, to no avail.

  
"My goodness, you're such a bad hero!"

  
"At least I tried," Lex grimaced. "But now I know why I didn't pursue the career. I'm not cut for that."

  
Clark shook his head and then proceeded to take the billionaire in his arms before carrying him, princess-style. Lex's eyes sparkled.

  
"Wow, I knew those muscles were good for something!"

  
"What can I say? I carried haystacks for the majority of my life."

  
"My hero!" Lex giggled.

  
"Did you just giggle on me?"

  
"You bet I did! For once I'm the one being carried like a damn princess, that's revolutionary! Now I can pretend to be on the heroes' side. I knew you were good for me."

  
"I'm both flattered and worried, to tell you the truth."

  
"Good. That means you're thinking of me."

  
"You're such a sweet talker."

  
"You're such a cutie."

  
Clark blushed, but didn't put Lex down. He felt strangely satisfied, although he didn't do any saving today. Go figure. In the background, the Moon Rangers were tying up the villains.

  
"Boss, we should go," Endymion said. "The police is coming."

  
"Right, let's not meet the authorities. I'm not on good terms with them. Clark, do you feel like going to my penthouse to have coffee?"

  
"Now?"

  
"Now is the perfect time."

  
Clark sighed and finally let Lex walk by himself.

  
"I don't know. It was a long day."

  
"Tea time and chill?"

  
"Tea sounds good."

  
"I can buy a teashop for you."

  
"No need, I just need one cup of tea."

  
"That can be arranged. I'll add the bakery for good measure."

  
"I don't need... You know what, never mind. Let's go to your penthouse."

  
"Yes! Let me call my assistant."

  
The police came before her. Some officers directly went to arrest the villains while the others tried to capture Lex and the Moon Rangers. Clark testified for him, as well as a dozen of other witnesses. For once, Lex Luthor was innocent, no, he helped everyone. That was a shock. The man who tried to conquer the world and kill Earth's mightiest hero, the crazy psycho who once sent Metropolis to a spatial limbo, had saved Clark and all the people at the Renaissance Fair? That was so bizarre no one had any word to describe it. The police had no choice but to let him go.

  
Mercedes came five minutes later, driving the limo. The Moon Rangers went to sit with her in the front. Clark glared at Lex.

  
"What? We took your method of transportation to come to the fair, it's my turn now."

  
"You're insufferable."

  
"Am I? You don't seem to mind too much."

  
"I must have a concussion."

  
"Do you want me to kiss it better?"

  
"I'm not _that_ hurt."

  
Lex smiled sweetly at him and opened the limo's door.

  
"After you, my good Sir. Mercedes, we're going home. Is everything ready?"

  
"Yes, Mr Luthor."

  
Lex's penthouse was less extravagant than what he imagined. It was located on top of the LexCorp main building and it looked more like a comfy english cottage than a trendy appartment with all the modern equipments. Clark already saw it from afar, but he thought the little house was more a decoration than a real home with all the amenities. He was surprised to find an english garden in front of the house.

  
"There's also a vegetable garden and an orchard on the back," Lex said when he saw Clark gazing at the climbing roses on the fence. "I wanted to build a gazebo but the architect said the weigh would be too much for the floor below. Maybe one day, when I'll retire, I'll buy a similar house in the countryside. I'm very fond of the english style."

  
"It's lovely," Clark breathed. "It looks like a painting."

  
"You think so? I'm glad. I really like this place."

  
He opened the door and let Clark enter first. The inside was exactly what Clark thought it was like. He admired the elegance of the porch and the little details carved on the entrance door that lead directly to the living room.

  
"There are two bedrooms, but I use the second one as an office. You also have a small kitchen next to the living room and a laundry room on the back. It's not very big but it's my home."

  
"I love it," Clark said. "It looks like an Agatha Christie book. I almost expect to see an old lady napping in her rocking chair."

  
"Did you just compare me to an old lady?"

  
Clark blinked at him.

  
"I... don't know? If anyone asked me one week ago to describe you in any term, I wouldn't have used the words lovely or interesting. Maybe the last one, but not in a good way."

  
"You find me lovely?"

  
"Your house," Clark corrected. "Your house is lovely."

  
"And me? How do you find me, physically speaking?"

  
"Physically speaking?"

  
"Just answer the damn question."

  
Clark bit his lower lip but didn't say another word. Lex sighed.

  
"Please sit down," he finally said. "Mercedes will come back with a traditional english tea time."

  
Clark grabbed a book in the bookcase behind the sofa and kept his eyes glued to it until Mercedes came back ten minutes later. Lex just stayed on the armchair in front of him, oberving him, his lips pursed in wonder.

  
"I don't know what the gentleman likes so I brought a little bit of everything," Mercedes said. "Feel free to take what you want. I'll come back in two hours to take everything away. Enjoy your time."

  
"Thank you, Mercedes."

  
When she was gone, Lex turned to Clark and smiled, a little tense.

  
"What do you want, Clark? For the tea, we have assam, darjeeling, earl grey..."

  
"Earl grey, please."

  
"Sugar? Milk?"

  
"Three cubes, and just a little bit of milk, thank you."

  
They ate in silence. Clark was starving. He helped himself with the scones, which he covered in clotted cream and strawberry jam, and devoured an entire set of sandwiches. He didn't even take the time to taste them properly so he didn't really know what the cook put inside.

  
"I give up," Lex suddenly said. "You're driving me crazy."

  
Clark was busy demolishing an entire carrot cake. He stopped eating and stared at Lex.

  
"What?"

  
"You're just inhaling food like it's your last meal before your death sentence. It should be disturbing but I just find it extremely endearing. So I give up all pretense. I find you delectable."

  
"Delectable?"

  
"Yes. Beautiful. Breathtaking. Heavenly. I want to kiss you senseless and bring you to my mother's grave to introduce you. Not my father's because he was an asshole but you get the drill. Where were you when my treacherous brain found every human being awful enough to get sacrificed to an eldrich god?"

  
"I really don't get you."

  
"Please go out with me. Be my boyfriend. Accept my feelings. I promise I will be a good lover."

  
"You're a villain," Clark blurted.

  
"Only part-time. I'm mainly a CEO at LexCorp, you can't blame me for that."

  
"I'm not rich or famous or successful!"

  
"Who cares? I'm a billionaire. I have enough money and fame for two."

  
"We only had one date!"

  
"And it had everything! Good food, good company, and even a good fight against villains! And I wasn't even the one who ended up in jail!"

  
"Then it's because of the last part," Clark sighed. "You're blinded by the novelty of it. Try dating anyone else, you won't end up in jail."

  
"That's not true. I dated Volcana and Brainiac. It was catastrophic."

  
"Not villains, of course you'd get arrested. Wait a minute, _Brainiac_?"

  
"Yeah, that wasn't my best decision."

  
"Excuse me, but eww."

  
"Don't worry, I totally agree with you."

  
"How did you... in the bed..."

  
"You don't want to know."

  
"Oookay."

  
They stayed silent. Clark sighed. Luthor did confide in him, so maybe he could do the same? In a relative safe way, of course.

  
"I dated Bizarro once, because of Superman."

  
"What?!"

  
"Bizarro was curious about gay relationships, and honestly nothing happened! We just went on a strange date, held hands, kissed on the cheek, and ran after sheeps. A totally innocent date."

  
" _Ran after sheeps?_ "

  
"They were intergalactic sheeps that ran away from their farm in Gamma V. The thing is, I totally understand awkward temporary boyfriends."

  
"Ha, see? We're perfect for each other."

  
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Clark sighed.

  
Why couldn't his life be more simple? He could be going out with Lois Lane. She was a beautiful and brilliant woman, exactly the kind of partner his mother would approve of. Except Lois didn't want Clark Kent, the kind but plain guy from Kansas, she wanted the powerful alien from Krypton. She wanted to be the wife of a god and to have cosmic adventures and worshippers aplenty. She deserved that.

  
Clark didn't want worshippers or cosmic adventures, even if all of this came naturally to him. He didn't ask to be a leader, he didn't want to be Earth's protector, he just wanted to live a peaceful life with the person he loved, like his adoptive parents did. But due to his heritage, he was forced to become Superman and save the world, sometimes the universe. He was getting tired of it.

  
Now his archenemy was enamoured with him. Clark couldn't even chase him away by revealing his identity. His life sucked, and it sucked big time.

  
"I'm friends with your enemies," he tried in a last attempt to discourage Lex. "Superman and the rest of the League wouldn't be happy to know we're together."

  
"We'd be like Romeo and Juliet," Lex beamed. "That's very romantic!"

  
"You really believe that crap?"

  
"That's just a minor detail," Lex shrugged. "I don't blame you for being uneasy. They're a rather obnoxious bunch."

  
"You call _them_ obnoxious? Did you look at yourself lately?"

  
"So you have a type. Good for me!"

  
Clark couldn't help it. He laughed out loud.

  
"You're really one of your own, you know that? I've never met a man as atrocious, as full of himself and as damn infuriating as you! You make me crazy!"

  
Their eyes locked... and everything went down the gutter in less than a second. Lex just pushed the entire content of the table on the side; it went crashing down to the ground, soiling the carpet and the furniture. Clark grabbed him by his collar and kissed him fully on the lips. Their bodies collided into each other and they hurriedly went to the direction of the master bedroom, Clark half-carrying them both.

  
They were almost naked by the time they reached the bed, except for their boxer. Clark nearly ripped Lex's in an attempt to get him out of it.

  
"Calm down, Big Boy. Oh my, Big Boy is a well-deserved name indeed."

  
Clark blushed. Lex just fred his erection and what could he say, he was a healthy male with years of pining on Lois Lane literally under his belt.

  
"Don't make fun of me."

  
"I don't. In case you can't see, I'm extremely turned on."

  
"I... hum... don't have much experience."

  
"You're kidding, right?"

  
"I'm not a rich playboy. People don't date men like me."

  
"They must be blind or retarded. You're gorgeous. Look at you, you're like a greek sculpture, except you have a big dick."

  
"Thank you, I guess?"

  
"Less talking, more banging."

  
Lex kissed him again, and this time he didn't waste any time in pinning Clark under him. They rolled on the bed, touching and tasting every inch of skin they could, so eager to continue their ministrations they didn't pay attention to the edge of the bed until they both plunged on the ground in a mess of limbs and cries.

  
"My god, you're wonderful!" Lex exclaimed.

  
Clark blushed again and put him on the bed.

  
"Can I suck you?"

  
"You don't need to ask!"

  
The first taste of cock. Clark took him in one swoop, waiting for a gag reflex but it never came, so he started to move up and down. His lips glided along Lex's lenght.

  
"Whoa, calm down, Smallville," Lex gasped. "You want to finish me in five minutes?"

  
"Don't care," Clark mumbled. "I'm thirsty."

  
"I can see that. Slow down. Are you clean? I know I am, I took the tests yesterday, but..."

  
"You don't have to worry about that."

  
It was the truth. Whatever disease he could catch was cleaned every night before he went to bed, thanks to the advanced technology contained in his Fortress of Solitude. But Lex didn't need to know that right at the moment. What he needed to know, though, was that Clark was very set on testing every motion of gay sex he ever encountered in his life as an Earthling.

  
"Shit, it's so good," Lex hissed. "Wait, I'm..."

  
He didn't have the time to finish his sentence before exploding in the other man's mouth. Clark felt the bitter taste of come invading his senses: it gushed in his throat, made his nostrils flare, his tongue even went numb for a second before he felt the semen slide along his chin to his neck. He coughed, a little confused, and swallowed everything. Lex wiped the last drop of cum with his thumb. He looked delighted.

  
"You're incredible. Can I fuck you? Or do you want to fuck me?"

  
"I'm not sure about the specifics," Clark frowned. "You better lead this time?"

  
"We can swap next time," Lex reassured him. "Let me."

  
Clark was perplexed, but he still let Lex push him down gently on the bed. He felt the other man spread his legs. Lex searched the inside of a drawer and took out a small round box. When he opened it, Clark was surprised to smell the distinctive odor of mint.

  
"It's just a little something to ease the motion. We don't need to go all the way today if it's your first time, but I can show you how it's done. Next time, we'll need to prepare further."

  
"Prepare?"

  
"Did you ever have an enema?"

  
"That's what you mean by 'prepare'?"

  
"That's one part of the process. You also need to get used to the intrusion by training your hole. That is if you want a fulfilling experience. I won't tell you enough, for two men, sex is 40% pleasure and 60% lube."

  
Clark stared at him. He should have been disgusted, or afraid, or even a little suspicious. But he realized he trusted him. He trusted Lex Luthor and wasn't it the most incredible thing that ever happened to him?

  
"How did I miss that part of you for so long?"

  
"Well, communication is the key. We never really talked before, did we?"

  
By Rao, Lex was right. Every time he met him as Superman, they ranted, they threatened and shouted at each other, but never once did they have a real conversation, something to really know the other. Clark was an idiot. Lex was too, and it took them ten years to realize they were good for each other.

  
Well, Clark knew it but Lex wasn't exactly on the same wavelenght. There were words better left unspoken for now.

  
He wasn't ready. Lex was everything he thought he was and nothing like he imagined, and all he needed to see it was meeting him as Clark Kent. Wasn't it funny, wasn't it crazy, something he didn't want to explore further, something he wished with all his heart to understand. Lex looked at him like he was everything. It made his head spin, he could feel his chest hurt and burn and ache. Clark took Lex's face between his hands and kissed his forehead.

  
"I accept," he said.

  
"What?"

  
"Yes, I want to go out with you, Lex Luthor."

  
Lex gave him the most wonderful smile he ever laid his eyes on.

  
"You won't regret it."

  
Clark already did.

  
And that was how Superman ended up going out with Lex Luthor.


End file.
